Kingdom of Loafington

“Ignavus est Optimus”

Archive for June, 2008

King Slugbait Sticker

Posted by marxaos on June 4, 2008


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Castle Loafington Facade 2.0

Posted by marxaos on June 1, 2008

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Castle Loafington Scaffolding

Posted by marxaos on June 1, 2008

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Camp Placement Questionnaire Answers

Posted by marxaos on June 1, 2008

Subject: Theme Camp Questionnaire: Kingdom of Loafington

Thank you for submitting your Placement questionnaire.

Below you will find the information that you submitted in your
questionnaire.  You cannot make changes to this information once it
has been submitted; if you wish to modify this information in the
future, or if you have any questions, please contact us at

The BRC Placement Team will be sending out more information via the
theme camp announcement list that you will be added to.

Happy planning!


User name:

Full name:
Sir RedMark Slackworthy the Blue

what’s “email”?

Address 1:
Castle Loafington

Black Rock City

County Slack

Postal Code:

Kingdom of Loafington

Home Phone:
What’s a “phone”?

Purchased a ticket?:

What years have you attended Burning Man?:
(‘1996’, ‘1997’, ‘1999’)

Previous Projects:
Bavarian Illuminati Motorcycle Cabal
Whore of Babalon Gnostic Temple and Titty Bar

Other Contributions:
Volunteered as Greeter


Theme Camp Questionnaire

Village, Theme Camp or Department?:
Theme Camp

Camp/Village Name?:
Kingdom of Loafington

Listed on Map?:

Listed on Burning Man Earth?:

Listed on Website?:

Text for website listing:
His Laziness the King and Her SafeTness the Queen rule the Realm with Benign
Neglect and promote the Noble Pursuit of Idle Pleasures. The Holy Knights of
Loafington are pledged to protect Weary Pilgrims who may seek Safe Refuge from
the Playa, become Loyal Subjects, and gain Initiation into the Higher Orders.

Public URL for Camp :

Requested Location 1st choice.:
Avenue 4:30

Requested Location, 2nd choice.:
Avenue 7:30

Requested Location, 3rd choice.:
5:00 to 5:30 Villages and Large Theme Camps

You would prefer to camp near…:
(‘No preference.’,)

You would prefer not to camp near…:
(‘Very Loud Camps’, ‘Big Crowd Attractions’, ‘Thunderdome’)

Please help us to shade our camp. The camp faA{section}ade is tall enough to
be a key source of shade. We request that the frontage be the north side of a
street so that the faA{section}ade will be south of the camp. This will
enhance the comfort of visitors who the seek shade and rest we offer.

We prefer to be on a ring road 4-5 streets back from the Esplanade

Approximate Space Needed:
[’50’, ’75’]

Approximate Space Needed:
50 ft. by 75 ft.

Number Of Campmates:
6 to 10

Arrival Date:
Aug. 24

Number and Type of Vehicles:
8 x 10 cargo truck
Camper van
1 or 2 more cars, maybe

Alternative Power:
Small solar car-battery charger.

One Gas generator, 4400W, surrounded by foam sound baffle.

Physical Description:
Castle Loafington is 15a tall x 18a wide, colored Safety Orange with 4 LED
lights on poles 20a above the playa and EL Wire along the corners. When placed
well back from the Esplanade, it should serve as a handy neighborhood
landmark. The castle will have a drawbridge in front and a portcullis in back,
enclosing a 6a x ga gatehouse.

Frontage: 15a-tall orange castle faA{section}ade 18a wide, flanked by two 8a
high walls of construction fence netting strung between metal poles pounded
into the playa to complete the 50a frontage.

Castle Structure: two 11a tall, 6a square towers spaced 6a apart, joined at
the top with scaffolding cross-bracing and topped with 18a x 6a of
construction-grade reinforced decking with 3a construction-grade handrails.
Towers will be guyed with 4 lines running 8a out from the sides and back of
the scaffolding towers.

Castle Skin: 4 x 6 Masonite / hardboard panels reinforced with screwed-on 1 x
2as with flat brackets fastened to the scaffolding tubes with heavy-duty zip
ties. Orange paint mixed with sand will be applied to the rough side of the
panels to simulate day-glow stone with masking tape lines to evoke stone

Drawbridge: Two 8a plywood panels hinged together: one is the gatehouse floor
and one is the drawbridge proper. The drawbridge and its chains will be
outlines with EL Wire AND yellw / black chevron warning tape for safety.

Portcullis: Lath lattice on pulley rope, counterweighted to tend to fall UP
when unsecured.

Great Hall: 10 x 20 Quonset-hut style carport with carpet floor, xmas lights,
and camp chairs.

Sanctuary: 12 x 12 Chill Space enclosed tent with carpet, cushions, boom box,
xmas lights.

Kitchen: 8 x 10 shade structure with folding table, etc.

Cargo van: All loose items will be stored here.

Perimeter sides and back will be enclosed by orange construction fence that
matches the castle.

All stakes will be candy-cane rebar with reflective tape (safety orange,
natch) on the heads. All guy wires will be festooned with reflective tape or
EL wire. You know the drill.

Interactivity Description:
The Kingdom of Loafington offers intimate and intensive one-to-one
interaction. A visitoras immediate experience will be that of convivial
swapping of jokes stories & rumors and, for some, quick & dirty initiation
rituals with some gifting. That, plus loafing, of course.

The Kingdom of Loafington is a Sovereign State
The King and Queen provide Safety, Comfort, and Pleasure to their
The Holy Knights of Loafington Protect the Pilgrims and Guard the
Weary Pilgrims may seek Safe Refuge from the Playa at Castle
Worthy Pilgrims may become initiated as Loyal Subjects
Aspirants to the Higher Orders may be sent on Quests
The ambiance will be anachronistic but not archaic (we are NOT SCA!)

Offer shade, water, and rest to all Pilgrims
Process 50 select Pilgrims through the Department of Kingdom Security
Initiate 25 Pilgrims into the Order of the Space Monkey
Initiate 13 Monkeys into the Squireship of Shirtcocking
Initiate 13 Squires into the Holy Order of the Knights of Loafington
Heckle Yahoos who stray too near our Borders

Past History: We (Slackworthy & Slugbait) organized or were contributing
members of the following camps:
1997: Bavarian Illuminati Motorcycle Cabal
1998: Artistsa Republic of Fremont
1999: Whore of Babalon Gnostic Temple and Titty Bar
2002: Some Place
2003: Dust Mask Camp

Philosophy: The Kingdom is for the Noble Pursuit of Idle Pleasures and the
Foolish Bravery of Asking for What You Want.

Personal Interaction
Pilgrims may be entered into the DKS database
The Grand Inquisitor may take Confession from Pilgrims and Absolve
them of their Sins
Squires may Initiate and gift Monkeys with Sashes and SafeT Packets
(Ziploc baggies containing lip balm, sunscreen samples, wipes, condoms,
earplugs, etc.)
Knights may Initiate Squires and gift them with an arm band and medal,
and send each on Quest for a Gift to Bring back to the King and Queen
The King or Queen may Initiate Knights and gifting them with a Tabard,
Chain Mail, a Shield, and a Sword that Lights or Shoots Water

Definitions of Project Features from question 23
Amplified Music: A medium-sized boom box for the chill space with aux
speakers for the reception hall
Activities for Mature Audiences: Some initiation rituals may include
partial nudity and naughty language (these are the aSex-Related Activitiesa
from later in this questionnaire

Definitions of Project Interactivity
Action for Reward: Successfully complete the initiation to get the
gift and rank as described above in Goals
Bar: The Nobility may offer alcoholic drinks to Pilgrims and Subjects
Chill Space: For Subjects and Nobility; a separate rest space (not as
chillin but with shade and seating) for Pilgrims
Collecting Data: DKS will make a dossier (questionnaire with
Polaroid)of on each selected visitor for perusal in a 3-ring binder
Costuming: For Initiates as described above
Gifts Given: For Initiates as described above
Heckling: for Yahoos as described above
Ritual: Initiations
Structures to Climb: Access to the Castle tower will be strictly
controlled under the direct supervision only of camp members

Project Features:
(‘Amplified Music’, ‘Scaffolding’, ‘Activities for Mature Audiences’)

Project Interactivity:
(‘action for reward’, ‘bar’, ‘chill space’, ‘collecting data’, ‘costuming’,
‘gifts given’, ‘entertaining guests’, ‘heckling’, ‘Music’, ‘photography’,
‘ritual’, ‘services rendered’, ‘shared experience’, ‘structures to climb or
play on/with’, ‘Theme-related activities’, ‘Theme-related visual effect’)

Activities for Mature Audiences/Health and Safety:
(‘Sex-related Activities’,)

Art Installation:



Primary Flame Type:

Secondary Flame Type:


Mutant Vehicles:

Sound Amplification:

Sound Amplification Details:
Mid-sized boom box with 2 sets of bookshelf speakers for background music in
the sanctuary / chill space and great hall / reception area

Big-Name Performers:


Leave No Trace plan:
(‘Refuse will be thrown upon the midden beyond the castle walls, which will be
donated to the DPW upon our departure.’, ‘But seriously, folks, we are clean
and green. Cloth napkins, wipes, and towels will be used in the kitchen. Paper
shop towels will be available only for really messy accidents. Campmates will
bring own bowls cups plates utensils, with a couple extra of each for the
occasional dinner guest (no public kitchen / food). Communal dinners will be
pre-cooked, frozen in boil bags, and packed in dry ice to minimize food prep
mess. Personal food will be removed from packaging and brought in re-usable
containers. For what little waste the 9-10 of us make, we will have two
45-gallon garbage cans, each clearly marked for Recycle or Trash, and a
30-gallon can for overflow. These will be secured to the kitchen canopy poles.
Additional large and small garbage bags will be brought as backup, with the
cargo van as the final storage place for loose items and waste containers.
Each group space will have a small trash can with a lid.’, ‘Plastic cups will
be used to serve refreshments to visitors. Soft drinks and beer will be in
aluminum cans. Food garbage will be separated out and sealed. Several plastic
restaurant buckets with sealable lids will hold soiled rags and discarded
food. A number of small closable containers items will be on hand for
smokers.’, ‘Confronting and dealing with MOOP in real-time will be applauded
and rewarded in real time. By Royal Edict, any Subject or Pilgrim who is
caught walking past MOOP without dealing with it will be forced to endure
Pubic Humiliation.’, ‘Did we mention the construction fence perimeter?
It\xe2\x80\x99s not just for security, you know!’, ‘Construction Waste /
Scrap: None. Castle structure and skin is pre-built and modular. Everything
else will be vehicles and well-secured tents. No cutting, drilling, screwing,
nailing, or painting on the playa. Been there, done that.’, ‘Clean Up: the
measures taken above ensure relatively quick & easy clean up. The castle skin
will be too valuable to burn; the hardboard panels will be taken home and
repurposed. The final step before we get in our vehicles and drive away will
be a line walk along over the camp footprints for a last MOOP sweep..’, ‘We
will try to use at lest 10% reclaimed materials for infrastructure. We commit
to bringing back at least 10% more trash than we make; good folks like us have
to do a little more than our fair share of cleanup to make up for the
troglodytes that leave their shit behind.’, ‘We will gladly visit Recycle Camp
if it\xe2\x80\x99s not too far away. Otherwise, all that nice aluminum and
paper will leave with us.’,

‘Contacts who are ultimately responsible for
cleanup and all other aspects of the Kingdom of Loafington:’, His Royal Laziness King Slugbait the Slothful, Sir RedMark Slackworthy the Blue.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Camp Diagram 1.0

Posted by marxaos on June 1, 2008

Here’s the diagram of the camp layout submitted as part of the application:

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Nobility Only

Posted by marxaos on June 1, 2008

This page is accessible to the Nobility (Campmates) only. This is where we can post our ideas and plans away from the prying eyes of the Heathen.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »