Kingdom of Loafington

“Ignavus est Optimus”


The Royal Sovereigns

His Laziness King Slugbait the Loafmeister and Her Safetiness Queen SafeT Queen III Rule the Kingdom by issuing Royal Edicts, Ordaining Holy Knights and Clergy, and Delegating Tasks as they please.

Their Word is Law, by Divine Right, and so graciously relieve their Loyal Subjects of burdensome decision-making. In the event of a Sovereign’s absence, indisposition, slumber, or when it just gets to be a bit much, His or Her Royal Slackness may temporarily assign the Power of Lawgiving to a nearby Noble.

As may be necessary to ensure the Safety, Comfort, or Pleasure of the Kingdom, the King or Queen may declare a State of Siege, at which time All Bets are Off.


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